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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Side Effects of Arranged Marriages

Each time I hear the phrase "Arranged marriage", I recollect the song of "Apache Indian". He goes on to describe the girl he wants to get married to "me want gal, to look after me, to make me roti..." The concept of arranged marriages is the usual norm followed in India. It is how most of the Indians get married. No matter how westernized India may have become arranged marriages are still preferred in most of the Indian families. The concepts of arranged marriage may sound impractical to the Western world but for Indians it is something they favor. It is a system, which originated when child marriage was a custom in the country.

If we consider the side effects of arranged marriage, the first thing that comes to my mind is that the boy and the girl do not get to know their future spouses before marriage. Two unknown people get married without knowing and understanding each other. I have heard of many cases from my relatives  that girls even do not get the opportunity to see their bridegroom before marriage. In case of arranged marriages the marriage itself is the beginning. They will have to start from the scratch, know each other, fall in love or rather you have to fall in love, as you have no other choice.

The matching of kundalis (horoscopes) is a must, but does that mean that the partners are compatible mentally, emotionally and also physically. One fine day you will suddenly find a person totally unknown to you and it is decided that you ought to live the rest of your life with him. According to me the rest of the life comes later, at that point of time you feel how to spend a day with him. Everything turns out to be in a haphazard condition. These are some drawbacks that one face in an arranged marriage. I also had an arranged marriage. For me it was like staying with a stranger. I remember the mornings when I used to get up and get baffled as to who was sleeping beside me and at times I used to even get afraid. But then things get all settled and you feel afraid when that person is not there beside you. That is called 'Love', which turns everything at ease.

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